


Minesweeper

by supercalifragili



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Liam-centric, OT5 Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragili/pseuds/supercalifragili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn doesn’t know when he ever felt that, maybe when he saw that photo of Liam standing on the roof of a bloody building, that feeling that creeps in his bones and doesn’t leave him, gets him to his knees sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minesweeper

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why this started, it’s been sitting there since a long time ago and probably it’s a tiny bit sad, but I’m all for happy endings so… I hope you’ll enjoy. Thanks for reading!

Zayn doesn’t notice, at first, the stadium is so big and there is so much noise, but the screams become deafening and when he looks at the faces of the fans he's left confused. They are not smiling, they look scared; there's a girl that catches his eye, she's pointing far behind him mouthing a name that doesn't get to his ears, but that as soon as reads it on her lips sends a splash of cold water all over him. Zayn doesn’t know when he ever felt that, maybe when he saw that photo of Liam standing on the roof of a bloody building, that feeling that creeps in his bones and doesn’t leave him- it gets him to his knees sometimes. He doesn't know how he gets the courage to turn, but when he does Liam is on the floor, hat on the side of his buzzed hair. Paddy is climbing on the ramp. For the first time, in maybe forever, he doesn't care if he falls while trying to get to Liam, he feels a sharp jab at his ankle, but hell to that.

Louis reaches before Paddy, trying to help him up the ramp, but Zayn doesn't even mind it. His hands go straight on Liam's neck checking the pulse, his head on Liam's chest and okay, he's still there, somehow. Liam can feel Harry and Niall behind him and he turns, he doesn't know how he looks, what's the expression on his face, but Niall and Harry look terrified and can't make a sound. He just doesn't know what to do because this is Liam on the floor, motionless.

Zayn wipes the tears threatening to fall from his eyes and then Paddy is right there, scooping Liam up one song left to the concert and Zayn doesn't know what to do, nobody knows what to do, _even Louis_ , God's sake even Louis doesn't know what to do. They just stand there while Paddy says in his calm voice "Everything is fine, Liam will be fine, one last song to go and you'll be fine too, just don't let down the fans now." That said he holds Liam tightly to himself, signs two other security guards to follow him and Paddy goes running up the ramp and backstage. Zayn doesn't know for how long they stand there, everything is fuzzy and his body doesn't even cooperate. He feels Louis pulling him up and Niall walking in front of a silent crowd. Harry reaches behind him biting his nails worried, his scarf loose on his head, the lines of preoccupation mapping the pale of his face.

Zayn doesn't really know how the rest of everything goes, but when he can finally sit down and breathe again- the muddle in his head stopping for a while- is when he watches Liam rested on the bed of the nearest hospital, somewhere around Philadelphia. He shouldn't feel so relieved, Liam's not woken up yet, but he's breathing, chest rising and falling clothed in a thick dark jumper. _He's breathing. God._

The soft strands of Liam’s hair falling on his face, soft and stripped of any gel at sight, the pink splattered on his cheeks and at the tip of his nose make him look so vulnerable. Zayn thumbs at Liam's mouth and temple unsure if he's disturbing. Liam's still a bit cold and Zayn is still a lot scared, but at least, he knows Liam will wake up. He will.

A knock at the door wakes him from his thoughts, Niall and Paddy walking in. Niall still looks so tired and nervous, hair flopping down his forehead, Niall’s eyes scanning Liam’s body slowly before taking a step forward.

"He'll be fine," Paddy says, walking over the other side of Liam's bed "Doc said it must have been the rain of a week ago and you know this poor boy, he won't show he's sick and he'll strain himself. He hit his head too, so there might be a concussion."

Niall sits on the bed watching Liam quietly, his thumb between his lips chewing his nails nervously "It's been 18 hours, Paddy..." He murmurs

"I know, but we only have to wait for now"

"Where are Harry and Louis?" Zayn asks lifting his head, eyes on Niall

"Harry is still kind of absent, pacing in the hotel room. You know how he gets when something happens to Liam"

Zayn knows what happens. Liam could sprain his ankle again and Harry would baby him to the point in which Liam would hide and _please, tell Harry I'm fine_.

But this is Liam fainting during a concert, Liam's never sick, Liam never missed one day. Zayn knows there's something wrong, and he should have seen it, but he didn’t. Liam's the person he looks at the most, just to check in or _to know_. Liam's body tells so much already, what did he miss?

He checks Liam's arm in lieu of the moment and it's so light, the veins protruding through his pale skin, the tan of the previous days flushing out of his body. Liam's so strong...

Zayn doesn't know what Niall and Paddy are talking about when with a last check at Liam's face he gets out of his hospital room. He’s so tired and he’s worried sick, he’s going mental. He can still hear the fans screaming and he wishes they weren't because now the cries and squeals remind him of Liam and the flimsy shape of his body on the floor. He still remembers the expression the girl had when she mouthed the 'Liam is on the floor', tears streaming down her face.

He knows he should check in and make sure he's there when Liam wakes up, but there's so much he's missing and seeing Liam there like that doesn't help him.

He needs time to think.

 

-

Louis considers there's a lot Liam will need to explain. Harry is still pacing around, hitting his shin against cupboards and coffee tables, still dressed up like yesterday and Louis doesn't know what to do because this is Liam, Harry doesn't do well without Liam around. Harry doesn't look like Harry when Liam isn't around. The only voice in his head is the one of Paddy when he picked Liam up whispering- somehow over the loud noise in the arena, a _He's too light_ to Paul. Louis would like to blame Paddy because Paddy is Liam's shadow, he should have know. He should have fucking known. His phone is still beeping with twitter mentions and they're all about Liam and how's he supposed to know?

Liam doesn't talk much.

That's when it downs upon him.

"Harry"

"Yes?" Harry stops in his tracks and the curls flop on his face before he backs them away with a bandana, eyes rimmed red; he's been crying so much Louis thinks. Liam always makes sure Harry doesn't cry.

"He's been skipping meals again to catch up... He's burning himself out"

That's the only thing he says and Harry whispers _oh God_ in epiphany. Louis doesn't know how to stop him because he thinks now tears are streaming down his face too.

"He doesn't stay and he just goes and goes and goes..."

Louis hears the door that gives to the living room click and sees Zayn pushing in with the key of Harry's room in his hands, he looks like he’s been running, and Zayn doesn’t run for anything, but Liam. He closes the door behind him before he reaches Harry and tugs him in a hug.

"I'm so going to kill him when he wakes up, I'm going to feed him and kill him after" that's the only thing he says looking at Louis with sad eyes. Harry manages to snort, Zayn would never even think about that. Zayn is so protective of Liam he'd make sure Liam would never leave his sight again.

Louis manages to get some sleep, strangely enough, heart still beating like mad inside his ribcage. He doesn't understand how his brain is still working. When he wakes up, still not well rested and a crick at his neck, he sighs. There's a nest of blond hair on his face, a tiny body wrapped around him and he knows it’s Niall’s, he shakes him up a bit wondering for how long he slept there on the edge of Harry’s bed. Niall opens his eyes, two pools of blue looking at him sadly before he shakes up again, almost remembering what happened just the other day, he hiccups and sobs head falling on Louis's chest. Louis doesn’t know what to do, Liam knows. Niall never cries, Niall should never cry, Liam always makes sure of that, but Liam’s not there. Louis sighs defeated, he feels so useless.

The thing is, without Liam, Louis doesn’t function too.

"Don't cry, he'll be fine. Zayn said we'll feed him and kill him ourselves,” he manages, forcing the dryness in his throat away. Niall looks up again hesitant and tries a smile on his lips all red and chapped, the skin around his eyes a bit bruised; Liam would always reprimand Niall on that ‘Don’t rub your eyes too much, they’ll bruise’ and Louis would always whisper ‘Such a mum’ under his breath.

"Okay, I'll pass him the food then and make sure he doesn’t step into the gym"

Louis muffles lightly on his shirt and Louis thinks he's never been this scared for Liam, not even when he was up the ledge of that building, all drunk and reckless. This is so much worse.

He disentangles himself from Niall and when he looks up to the other side of the bed Zayn and Harry are gone, probably checking on Liam.

"Let's check up on him, alright?" Niall nods and Louis ruffles his hair smiling.

"He'll be okay"

Louis knows Liam will.

 

-

Harry watched the videos. He went through every single one of them, from every angle possible, replaying repeatedly. He watched the moments prior to fainting, if there was any sign of Liam being tired, if there was any sign of Liam's voice faltering. There weren't. Harry tries to remember any indication of Liam being weary but he can't, maybe he didn't pay attention, maybe he didn't care enough, he doesn't know. And Liam's been on his own really. He can’t remember when he was able to stay with Liam and say nothing, just for a while, it’s been hectic.

Harry checks twitter and for once he doesn’t know what to write. He doesn’t want to write anything.

He tweets a “  ”. He’s been an enigma for himself, but for once he knows there could be nothing to write. They told him to write something to reassure the fans, _I don’t know how to reassure myself, how can I think about the fans now?_ He can hear Liam’s ‘Be nice’ and he shakes it out of his head. Liam is so nice, always nice and he puts himself second to everything; for God’s sake, how does Liam even do that?

He doesn’t know how long he sits there on the chair and just watches the pallor of Liam’s skin, the bags under his eyes, the smudges on his fingertips, and the wrist stripped of Liam’s watch. He can’t even check the time, how long again is it going to take for Liam to wake up?

He wonders how many cigarettes Zayn is going to smoke before he calms down. Only Liam can make him this nervous and careless about his health.

Zayn doesn’t talk much, he talks what’s needed of him to say now, but Liam brings everything out. Liam can bring Zayn out and make him smile so hard and big, Liam can make Zayn laugh so much tears glass his eyes, Liam can make Zayn forget about the cigarettes. Liam can make Zayn so happy he looks like he’s walking in a field of daisies, missing all the bombs underneath it. Liam is the luck that makes you win _Minesweeper_. Liam can do that, only Liam can do that.

He wants to say so many things, he wants to talk to Liam so much and he does. He talks for so long his throat feels dry. He doesn’t even know what he talks about, but he hopes Liam heard. They will talk so much when he wakes up, they’ll talk about Liam’s dead turtles if Liam wants to. They’ll talk about being nice and happy. Harry will teach him about selfishness too. Liam needs that. Probably Liam will laugh in his face and say ‘Being selfish is not that good, Harry’ and they’ll argue. Harry would love for Liam to argue with him and shove at him and _be Liam_ with him.

The rise and fall of Liam’s chest are reassuring enough. Harry stands up from the chair and kisses Liam on the forehead, cards his fingers through Liam’s hair and says goodbye, promising he’ll bring Zayn back and make him sit for more than five minutes before he needs to rush out again saying “I can’t fucking do this, mate”.

 

-

Niall opens the door slowly and rolls his eyes at the beeping and wants Liam to get the hell up so they can go back to their hotel room and eat chips and watch his favourite movie. He saw Zayn outside, Harry at his side and just looking up in the sky and Niall is missing Zayn too. Liam makes everything just miss, the feeling of loss creeping inside every crevice of his brain. _You are a sunshine_ Liam says every time. Niall wants to hear it again. He knows Liam is fine, he hit his head hard, but Niall feels like Liam’s been on that God’s forsaken bed since _forever_. Liam hates being still.

They don’t have any concert for a week or so and he whispers a “So sensible about that too,” he doesn’t even remember where they are. Sophia called him and she sounded so scared, and he had to lie and tell her ‘He’ll be up soon’ when he doesn’t even know what _soon_ means in this case although he knows Liam will open his eyes and smile big. Sophia told him to call her when Liam will wake up, Sophia told him to say ‘I love you’ for her. Sophia told him that Liam is so strong,  _Liam makes everything alright_.

He sits on the bed and lifts Liam’s hand and sings _Through the Dark_ because that’s one of Liam's favorite songs. Niall will always love how Liam still gets stunned by people loving him, by his own bandmates loving him. He says it and he ruffles his dark hair playfully, soft strands caressing his fingers. He tells him _I love you_ for Sophia and another _I love you_ for himself. He hopes Liam will hear his more. He hopes Liam will remember his more.

Zayn, Harry and Louis come in. There’s noise, but Niall loves the buzzing filling of the talking they do, it makes the beeping of that bloody heart monitor become almost quiet. Zayn finished his packet of cigarettes and he well knows Liam will scold him for that when he wakes up. Liam will scold Louis for letting him smoke it and he’ll scold Harry for not hiding it, Liam will scold even Niall because _Niall, you are everybody’s sunshine_ and Niall will laugh and say _But you are the sun._ Liam will understand.

 

-

Liam wakes up and he thinks it’s night, he goes to check for his watch and he notices he’s not in his room, remembers he fell, can’t remember a lot actually. His head hurts and he wishes he could have some painkillers. He falls asleep again. He doesn’t like hospital rooms.

When he wakes up again the sun is shining brightly through the curtains and he feels better, he missed walking around and his body reminds him how he hates being still. He considers a walk down the hallways, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to walk around much farther. When the door opens there’s a tired and a bit stressed nurse that when meets his eyes squeals, he’d go to reassure her everything is fine, but as soon as he opens his mouth she runs out all hurriedly and okay, probably there was a mishap. He sees a couple of his clothes folded inside a cupboard and he manages to put them on without difficulty, he thought his head was going to fall off when he pulled the jumper on. He brushes his teeth and ruffles his hair a bit. He wonders when they’ll come and pick him up. He goes by the window and looks down at the mass of people at the front with big posters he can’t decipher and just then he realizes how much noise they’re making.

“You bastard, you absolute wanker, you fucking tosser, you bloody- I’m going to strangle you,” he hears as the door opens and Louis is so loud, but he opens his arms wide enough for him to get inside and Louis stays there pinching at his belly muttering a stream of continuous insults that don’t really come out because he’s breathing like he ran a mile. He’d tell him _That’s why you need to come run with me, but_ he wonders if he’d get punched.

The door slams open again and when he lifts his eyes Niall, Harry and _Zayn_ look like they've been running since ages. Liam doesn’t have the time to disentangle himself from Louis that’s still latched onto him like a vice when the other three boys hug him tight. Harry holds his arm around Liam’s shoulder and nuzzles at his neck and it tickles but Harry smiles and seems so happy he tries not to laugh, he wonders if Harry will forgive him for scaring him this much. Niall holds onto his waist and Liam would like to hold him tight too and tell him that everything is fine, he is fine. Zayn looks at him still unsure, biting his lip and Liam is not for favourites at the moment but “Hey, come here” he says and Louis leaves his side to make space for Zayn. Liam threads his fingers through Zayn’s hair and looks at him close making Zayn smile sincere before he can say “I’m fine” and that seems to be enough for Zayn cause he holds close and doesn’t let him go.

“Zayn smoked a packet of cigarettes, Liam!” Louis barks and Zayn bats at him offended

“I tried to stop him but he didn’t listen” Louis continues poking at his side

“Louis smoked with me, you liar!” Zayn retorts holding Louis by his wrist

“Liar, Liar, pants on fire!” Harry sing songs and Niall laughs and his laugh reverberates through him; he’s just so damn happy. He missed them so much.

“I must have slept for a long time right?”

“About that, Zayn said we’ll feed you and then kill you ourselves!” Harry exclaims

“I’ll pass the food!” Niall adds in and Liam laughs

“Okay, we’ll eat together” Liam concedes "It's a long time we don't" Harry hums biting his lips and nods

Louis looks like he’s going to tie him on a chair but maybe, just maybe it looks like Zayn and Harry will save him from that. He knows Niall will definitely pass the food.

“I need a good run, ” he tries

“Let me see you stepping a foot in that gym, my darling Liam, and _I’ll run_ _you over!_ ” Louis kicks at his shin lightly

Yeah, definitely Louis will be the one tying him on a chair.

“We missed you” Zayn whispers wrinkling his shirt between his fingers and he knows he says “I missed you. too”


End file.
